For those of you who are new to this blog, I have a seven year-old son, named Liam, who has been struggling with reading proficiency this year. The main issue being that our local public school, where he attends first-grade, thinks he should fit the cookie-cutter stereotype that prevails in their curriculum and expectations for kids his age, and he doesn't. Back when his older sister was a toddler, I started researching Waldorf schools, as an option for her future elementary education. Among the many tenets of the Waldorf philosophy on child development and reading readiness, is the stance that children are most capable of deciphering the written word after the loss of the baby teeth. While it is not the only indicator that a Waldorf school would use for determining reading readiness, it is one which certainly has played out perfectly in the lives of my oldest children. Lily struggled greatly with word recognition and recall until just after age seven, when she began losing her bottom and then her top two teeth. She is now a straight-A student, thriving amongst her peers in academics. Liam appears to be following the same pattern, having lost only 3 teeth, the top two falling out last week (well one was pulled out by the gym teacher). Tom and I have seen amazing strides, not only in Liam's ability to read and recall many words, but in his actual interest in doing so. Up until recently, he was not one who showed much interest in street signs or product labels. Now, he seems to enjoy challenging himself and impressing me with his word knowledge and phonics skills.

Public education is designed for the masses. I realize that by sending my child to the local school, funded by my tax dollars, I am relinquishing him into a world where children's uniqueness is not appreciated- as my friend Mary Anne would say "they all get pushed out through the same toothpaste tube." It has become harder for me to do this, watching Liam walk off to a place where the adults in charge of him don't seem to get that he is great- that there's more to him than how fast he can read or what he can't yet do. Like his sister, he is a kid with an amazing maturity level, far beyond his seven years, who would give anyone (but his siblings, of course) the shirt off of his back, if they asked for it or appeared to need it. He has an unbelievable gift in design and can craft magnificent structures from next to nothing. He is great at math- he counts in his head faster than my finance-guru husband (sorry, Tom).

So, as I behold Liam, with his toothless grin, I'm not only gushing over how cute he looks (I am his mother, afterall!), I'm thrilled that he will finally have the ability to leave behind the pressure of "no child left behind."

"Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" He called a child, whom he put among them, and said, "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me." Jesus Matthew 18:1-5

"Children: They have the ability to turn our lives upside down, to disrupt our plans and our sleep, to try our patience, and to elicit our most ferocious love. But children also have the power to teach us the greatest lessons we'll ever learn...." Piero Ferruci-What Our Children Teach Us

I've been a mother for over a decade now- and I can say with fervor that all my years in public school and college could not touch the education I've received from my kids. It's intense, this parenting journey, filled with days which threaten to rob you of the very last shreds of dignity you may possess, sometimes leaving you so tired and broken that you feel you must somehow have made an error in judgement when choosing this path for your life. I feel that way a lot. But, sprinkled within those hard times are captivating moments, where you know that you have somehow achieved greatness just by being in the presence of these seedlings of humanness.

Lily is my first-born. From the moment she arrived she's been flooding my life with wisdom. She's only ten but she has the soul of an old sage- with maturity and uniqueness well beyond her years. Tom and I have learned about parenting from our days with Lily. We've seen our best intentions turned into a young girl with amazing poise, confidence, and compassion. For all the criticism we've endured over the years, as a result of our parenting choices, there's not a minute I would change when I look into the eyes of my daughter- whose potential is mind-blowing and beautiful.

316 hours ago Lily took her thumb out of her mouth and decided that she could live life without that source of comfort. While you may gasp is horror that someone her age would still be carrying on in this fashion, I would remind you that many of us, as adults, have habits, whether they be substance abuse, smoking, food disorders, compulsive gambling or spending, etc.....and we continue participating in them because they bring us a feeling of security that we decide we can't live without. Lily has been a thumb-sucker since she was in-utero.

Lily holding her baby brother Seth, also a "left thumb-sucker."

Our only sonogram revealed a tiny being, thumb-in-mouth, at only 20 weeks gestation. Over the years, Lily has attempted, on numerous occasions, to relinquish this vice of hers, under no pressure from us. She had me paint her nails with polish that had a bitter taste at five. Then she bought a ring with some of her spending money and wore it on her thumb. At seven she had Tom and I cast her left hand, in the dead-heat of the summer, but she just sucked the other one. She tried sucking endlessly on lollipops (not so good for the teeth)..... one thing after the other failed her, until she was ready to let go...and then she was done... There were times, in the last year, that Tom and I panicked, thinking Lily might go off to college with her thumb in her mouth, and sometimes, due to our own insecurities and fears, we prodded her to stop. Mostly though, we chose to stand aside on this issue, as we did on potty-training, weaning, and reading, somehow feeling that children accomplish better when they are ready, not necessarily when we are .... .


This morning, I stared into Lily's eyes, and I told her, very-matter-of-factly, that her 316 hours were not only an indication that she didn't need to suck her thumb anymore, but that she, Lily Sombar, possesses the courage and the power, within her, to do anything in the world she wants to do. She looked at me, with a big grin, and said, "I know Mommy...Isn't it great?" yes it is my sweet girl, yes it is.

Lily, this morning, exuding such pride and exhilaration over her fabulous accomplishment. What a girl!



Later on today, I thought about what I'd said to her, and remembered that I too had overcome the grip, so to speak, of thumb-sucking. I was seven-years-old, and I wanted more than anything in the world to be a grown-up. I was incredibly independent and hoped that everyone could see, that though I appeared to be just a little girl, I was actually a super woman. We had flown to Colorado for my Grandfather's funeral, and I was staying with my twelve-year-old cousin Shelley. As I lay there in her bed, seeing other of my big cousins pass by the doorway, I made the decision that my thumb was going to need to take a hike if I was ever going to fool these people into thinking I was cool enough to hang out with them. That spunky seven-year-old still resides in my soul, as does her strength. I forget about her alot, when my despair over my many imperfections overcomes me. I caught a glimpse of her, in Lily's eyes today, and I'm reminded that the things in my life, right now, that make me feel bad about myself, are only a committment away- a committment to letting go of what I don't need anymore.

Thank God for children, our greatest teachers. Thank God for Lily.

Good Morning. I decided to reach out through the blogosphere today in hopes of starting a prayer chain for our friend who is in desperate need of a heart transplant. His name is Don Lehr. He is the father of our daughter Lily's close friends Kate and Emma.


Lily with Don's lovely daughters, Emma and Kate.







He underwent open-heart surgery yesterday morning, to install a VAD. While, as of last night, it was functioning, sometime yesterday his organs began to fail and his white blood cell count is still elevated (from a staph infection he contracted last week). Don is a wonderful man- extremely funny and kind- a ray of sunshine. Even when I looked like a bloated hippopotamus last year, while pregnant with Seth, he always had the sweetest things to say about my growing belly.

Please pray that his body will regain the strength it needs to hold on for a heart transplant and that peace would surround his wife Sharon and his daughters.

Thank you.