I got my happy slappy out of my warm bed this morning, at the crack of dawn, and instead of going to the gym I went to our local Giant Eagle
grocery store (okay- we were out of cat food and baby food and I couldn't very well starve them- the cats and the baby- right?!). All in all it was a very serene shopping experience, no one but me in the aisles, no small "Sombars" begging for the plethora of non-nutritive food items screaming their names from the shelves, no baby to nurse in the cafe amongst old men and cranky employees on their breaks....ah....but then came the bewildered feeling of seeing that my only check-out option was the self-administered kind. I deplore those things- with every ounce of sanity in my body- they are the devil and, because they are saving these supermarkets a ton of money on salaried cashiers, the bitterness within me rises to the occasion and I become rather gruff, throwing my eight thousand jars of organic baby mush on the conveyor belt, then the three thousand cans of soft Kitty mush, then the bag of hairball formula dry vittles- which, of course, gets rejected FOUR times by the annoying computer lady who loudly declares "ITEM INVALID- PLEASE REMOVE FROM BELT AND TRY AGAIN...ITEM INVALID- PLEASE REMOVE FROM BELT AND TRY AGAIN." Personally, for any mother who peels herself from a nice slumber, in the dark of the wee hours, to drive in gale force winds (this is not an exaggeration) to provide food for all the beings in her abode, there should be a welcoming committee with hot cider, fresh donuts (not that i would indulge), and certainly A LIVE CASHIER. So, as I'm breathing deeply while bagging my own stuff, grumbling to no one, I ponder to myself- how can I get the hourly wage that Giant Eagle has saved by forcing me to do their dirty work at the register? Sneak an extra organic mango into my bag- a few jars of Gerber squash and corn- a 5lb. bag of chicken and rice cat food....BUT I WOULD NEVER DO THAT, PEOPLE, BECAUSE I AM A REASONABLE WOMAN WITH VALUES....right?!