I am currently eating my way through a half-empty box of Wheat Thins, trying to overcome my frustration with the discipline issues I seem to be having with my three children. I would define myself as a pretty lenient but extremely loving and participative parent. I believe that I give my children an exhaustive about of freedom and validation to explore many of their own interests and/or ideas at the time they are having them. Up until this point, we have not done much in the way of restricting TV watching, though we do offer up more exciting alternatives which are a natural detterent from the tube. Tonight Lily and Liam really disappointed me with their behaviors and I am struggling to come to terms with the fact that perhaps I need to reorganize some of my mothering techniques and apply stroger discipline tactics to our daily routines. The areas that Tom & I are finding the most challenging right now are: 1) TV watching- when we lived in Maryland, our children could go weeks without ever wanting to turn on our television. We didn't have cable, so the majority of shows they were interested were retrieved off of a DVD (Little House on The Prairie, Animal Planet sponsored titles, or movies). Upon moving to Pittsburgh, the land of the longest and greyest winters known to man, using the TV as a form of coping became a daily habit, helping both my children and myself to get through the duldroms of extreme temperatures and somber skies. I purchased cable for the first time in my life, and we all got attached to one channel or another, especially Lily with the Disney sitcoms. The struggle comes into play when our children respond to Tom or I with complete disrespect when asked to turn off the TV to come to dinner or to complete a simple chore such as, picking up clothes or toys from the day, helping to set the table for the meal. Bedtimes are constantly being upstaged and met with rage when a show is on they don't want to miss. For all of the leverage we have provided to them, they seem to push and push, all exacerbated by long hours of passive viewing of the boob-tube. It also effects the quality time that we spend together as a family. Benjamin, who isn't as interested in TV, very often is left to play alone, instead of with his brother and sister, because they don't want to be torn away from a show. B)Chores- I shudder at the very term "chores" as I came to resent it so much as a child. I spent every Saturday of my growing years doing CHORES with my mother, everything of scrubbing the bathroom, to the kitchen, to dusting, vacuuming, and mopping. I came to resent the fact that while most of the kids I knew were enjoying their weekends off from school by playing or doing fun things with their parents, I was stuck in our apartment, completing tasks which seemed to drag on all day. As a parent I have asked very little of my children in this regard, as I never wanted them to feel the way I had. Well, here I am, the mother of a 9 1/2, 6 1/2, and 4 yr. old, all of whom reak havoc on this house daily, and most of whom, are not compelled in any way to help restore it to order. Benjamin, my 4 yr. old, does enjoy household tasks, and will ask to vacuum or scrub floors or windows for his own entertainment (gotta love 'em). Lily, on the opposite end of the spectrum, slobs her way through life and feels absolutely no responsibility for doing her share. Liam falls somewhere in between. Frankly, I'm exhausted. Trying to be a more-than-adequate stay-at-home mother, nurturing my kids, and keeping up with housework is so daunting to me that I find myself becoming depressed and overwhelmed. I don't know the answer except that I believe that everyone in our family should be pulling their weight, so to speak, according to age, and, if nothing more, at least cleaning up the trash they make, bringing their laundry to the basement for washing, and picking up their "toys." In addition, they probably need to be helping with some of the other hygiene requirements of any family, like basic cleaning of general areas (kitchen, bath, family room, etc.) I don't think we should take up our weekends doing this, but I think helping to get it done during the week is a most reasonable expectation for kids this age. I struggle with housework myself, due to inner-slobdom or ADD or the like, which doesn't do much for setting a positive example for my kids. I ordered a book tonigh on managing my home and am filled with high hopes that this will provide some of the answers and routine I am desperately searching for.