Tom and I have been married nearly fourteen years now.  If I stand back from our relationship and gaze upon it, as a whole, I would call it "real"- not "good" or "bad" but real.  We are two human beings, with two different perspectives on life, two sets of baggage, two sets of needs, two sets of expectations, two dreams...Some days I would like to drive slowly by a ditch and toss him out of the car- he just gets under my skin and I lose my ability to see him from an objective point of view.  Other days, I feel grateful and blessed by his presence-like we are pieces of a complex puzzle that somehow find a way to fit.

Given statistics, there is always the wonder if we can go the distance. On the "ditch" days, I stop wondering because of my four kids.  On the "grateful" days, I stop wondering because of my four kids.  We enjoy life much better in the presence of each other- the six of us- than when we are separated.  And for now, that is our truth.

We drove to the little portion of beach where we said "for better or for worse" in 1997.  I felt twinges of happiness watching our children walk up and over the dune, as I had, in my dress, with my parents in my arms.  These human beings complete us- they make all of the "worse" a little more palatable and give strength to our sometimes wavering commitment.

Togetheritis.  Still the best thing going.